Foodstuffs
Food is an important part of life and can be an important part of games. One of my all-time favorite characters, in fact, seemed to spend most of his time eating, which of course meant the GM would have to come up with exotic and exciting food on the fly and then have to put up with questions about how it tasted and smelled. It was a bit of a hassle, but great fun was had by all. This article was inspired by those times and features 10 readymade exotic menu items you can bust out the next time a PC gets curious about what’s on the plate in front of them.
1. A rich stew of owlbear meat, potatoes, and a variety of small vegetables. The stew is served hot, almost boiling, and has a deep, complex flavor. Because the owlbear has had time to break down in the stew. the large chunks of protein-rich meat have become quite tender, falling apart with minimal prodding. The stew is incredibly hearty and the vegetables well-seasoned.
2. A simple dish of rice, seasoned with small green herbs of an unknown origins. Served in a bowl, steam rises gently from this freshly prepared dish. Despite the rice’s humble appearance, the chef’s small talent for magic, or perhaps cunning selection of herbs, has made this apparently plain dish incredibly rich in bright flavors. Both spicy and citrusy, the rice is almost supernaturally filling and is a meal unto itself.
3. The Vershal Trambolio. This massive sandwichm is named after a semi-famous explorer, rumored to have greatly enjoyed the local cuisine. While every inn, tavern, and restaurant has the Vershal Trambolio on their menu, each place seems to have a slightly different take on exactly what makes the sandwich. Though differing from place to place, the Vershal Trambolio always contains a combination of pork and lamb, spicy cheese, and a variety of mild peppers.
4. The mortal enemy plate. This is a mixed meat plate, containing heavily seasoned weasel meat and a whole charred cockatrice, served alongside a bed of mixed vegetables and grains (typically rice or quinoa). The combination of meats is extremely pleasing in a strange way, providing a nice mix of gamey and earthy flavors. While the dish is exceedingly popular, acquiring a reliable source of cockatrices is a dangerous and expensive process. Some local eateries have begun to substitute basilisk meat for the cockatrice, but the ingredients are somewhat harder to come by.
5. Electrified eel. This strangely prepared seafood features a giant eel cooked without fire, but instead exclusively by magical electricity. The result, some claim, is a meat with a salty flavor, but without the unpleasant fish taste that people normally associate with eels. Others claim that the high heat produced by the electricity makes the eel all but inedible, and that the added expense of the magic used to cook the eel makes this dish a waste of money,
6. Zombie beef. This necromantic achievement is a freshly killed and cooked whole cow, which is then animated by dark magics and paraded around for hungry observers who revel in the experience of eating something aware of what’s happening to it. Ever more skilled necromancers create more pained and expressive cows for ever more depraved patrons.
7. Faerie sugar flowers. These delicate concoctions appear to be beautiful wild flowers, and even smell like the real thing. The flowers are, of course, meant to be eaten, and have a delightfully sweet taste that makes them popular confections around the world. Those produced by the fey themselves often have potent hallucinogenic properties or other magical effects that make them somewhat more exotic.
8. Pudding pudding. A strange entrée created from the cooked and seasoned bodies of local oozes, jellies, and puddings. The first of these exotic dishes was created from the many bodies of a slain black pudding (hence the name) and was flavored with sugar and cocoa. The paste-like food has an extremely juicy consistency. Often these dishes are served with bread, crackers, or similar foods used to scoop the substance up for further enjoyment. The dish is considered something of a delicacy, and as obtaining ingredients can be a challenge, discerning chefs often post excellent bounties for skilled adventurers.
9. Fried chimera eggs. These are marketed chiefly as an alternative to dragon eggs, which are truly beyond the means of most chefs to acquire. The alternative chimera eggs are well received, however, for their remarkably complex flavor. Far richer in protein than other eggs, chimera eggs have a hearty flavor that is usually coupled with overpowering spice. Typically, fried chimera eggs are served with a mild sauce to help balance their intense flavor.
10. Jonia’s food potion. This miracle potion is a green, thin liquid contained in a small vial with a cork stopper. The liquid itself has a strong acrid smell, like boiled cabbage or sprouts, and it tastes even worse, not unlike rotting vegetables. The consistency also leaves a lot to be desired, being thin and runny. Though the nutritional value cannot be denied, the potion is prohibitively expensive. All of these are issues the creator, a wizard named Jonia, claims to be working on, though with little success. One day, Jonia hopes to distribute the potion worldwide as a easy alternative to traditional food.