Mephit Messengers
We finish Mephit Week with a discussion on mephit messages. Back in the days of AD&D, and specifically in the Planescape setting, the use of mephits as messengers was not only common, but sometimes the very mephit that was sent (a fire mephit as opposed to a smoke mephit, and so on) conveyed more meaning than the actual message that they delivered. You can find out more about this phenomenon from Planescape books (or a quick Google search, which will reveal some useful fan sites on the subject), but while today’s messages are certainly loosely inspired by that background, we’ve approached them with our own particular take on the subject.
Since we are especially celebrating the fire mephit, with the exciting release of The Traveler’s Guide to the Elemental Plane of Fire, we are looking at fire mephit messages in particular. As any planar traveler knows, a fire mephit message typically means anger, displeasure, or just a desire to see a house burn down, but as with all things related to mephits, the results of such messages tend to be less cut and dry. Below are the stories of ten fire mephits sent as messages, and how they were received.
1. Klythos the Red. While generally, a gift of a fire mephit is meant to display displeasure or anger, when actually delivered on the Plane of Fire, the meaning tends to be somewhat different, and instead sends the message that the recipient is commonplace, boring, or not worth thinking about. Klythos was one such message sent by one efreeti noble to another. Of course, Klythos having been in the message game a long time, promptly told his efreeti recipient that he was sent as a sign of displeasure, being unfamiliar with the plane’s customs. The noble was so incensed that he rallied his retainers for a surprise attack on his rival’s estate. Though the battle was short-lived, the efreeti was never again considered boring by his peers. As for Klythos, he was later captured and executed for mangling the message.
2. Amid Hazad’s Dozen. These 12 fire mephits were rounded up and placed in a box by the efreeti Amid Hazad, who had recently been the subject of a planar binding spell cast by a human sorcerer whom he fell madly in love with. The mephits were meant to be an invitation to come visit him on the Plane of Fire and came with a note bearing his name, family crest, and a poorly drawn heart. Upon being released from their box, however, the mephits torched the human paramour’s estate in a frenzied panic, infuriating Hazad’s lover. To their credit, the mephits were successful in getting his paramour to the Plane of Fire to pay a visit to Hazad, just not in the way he had hoped. For his part, Amid Hazard is currently in hiding.
3. Ignid High Heat. Sent as a typical mephit message from one powerful wizard to another, Ignid was surprisingly well received and just didn’t have it in her to cause the kinds of mayhem people look for in fire mephit messages. Instead, Ignid took a job with the wizard as a sort of personal lab assistant, leading to frequent feuding between her and the wizard’s extremely jealous familiar. Eventually, Ignid learned enough magic to send her employer’s familiar to her former owner, doing so in the hope that the wizard’s minion would harm his rival. Ultimately, the wizard employing Ignid grew very angry at his familiar’s apparent kidnapping and sent Ignid as a message to display his fury, much to her regret.
4. Bright Burn the Dim. One of several mephits sent out to the ungracious guests of an efreeti’s holiday party, Bright Burn the Dim was foolishly required to find his assigned guest on his own. Naturally, he got lazy and eventually just invaded the nice-looking house of a fat wizard dwelling on the Plane of Fire. Despite the wizard’s best efforts to convince the mephit he had the wrong man, and despite his best efforts to use his power to remove the creature, he has not been able to rid himself of Bright Burn, who now haunts his downstairs and steals food from the kitchen.
5. Klinhot the Professional. A singing mephit who hires herself out to be delivered to the doors of his enemies and sing a hateful tune of wrath and fury upon, Klinhot charges 5 gold per fare, plus the cost of transportation, though swears she is worth every penny. Her songs are quick and punchy, with the tendency to get stuck in the heads of those who hear them, bringing all the greater shame for those she is sent to ridicule.
6. Noflam the Scurry. A particularly undersized mephit, Noflam is something of a rarity for a fire mephit, as he is terrified of fire. As such, he leapt at the chance to be sent to the Plane of Water to serve as a message to one of the marids there. Upon arriving, he talked a big game about causing mischief, but didn’t actually do anything of the kind, not wanting to get sent away from such a comfortable post. Currently, he is engaged to a fine young water mephit, who occasionally does some gardening.
7. Igthos the Almighty. A well-muscled mephit, Igthos came to notoriety when, while being transported by crate in a great ship, a storm destroyed the vessel and caused him to wash up on a savage shore. Having never seen any kind of magical creature, the native people believed Igthos to be an incarnation of their fire god and took to worshiping the little fella. For his part, Igthos long ago forgot what he was supposed to be doing and enjoys the good life, occasionally lighting someone on fire to serve as a sacrifice to keep the locals in line.
8. Pyriam, the Flame that Burns Alone in the Night and Which is Unwavering and Eternal and Really, Really Bright. A popular mephit to send as a message, Pyriam, whose name is listed in short form above, is well known to be the fire mephit with the longest name and a gift for adding more things to her name as she recounts it. Often, when sent as a messenger, she spends days or weeks on end merely introducing herself, rarely having time to do anything more annoying, before the recipient grows so frustrated as to banish her back to her home.
9. The Spark. The spark is actually a high-priced assassin whose humble appearance belies her skills and abilities, allowing her to strike decisively and with little regard for her foe’s life. Indistinguishable from other mephits, the Spark typically does her work when the recipient of her messages is least aware, striking when they are sleeping or distracted by small fires she has caused.
10. Flicker. Flicker is actually an imp who angered an archduke of Hell and was cursed into the form of a fire mephit, a distinction Flicker is quick to point out is both obvious and extremely demeaning. Forced to serve a life of a mephit messenger, Flicker has been sent to countless planes, residences, and events over the years. Flicker loathes these tasks and does everything he can undermine the message he was meant to convey. Little does he suspect that such behavior further angers the devils in charge of him, and that he is only earning himself an ever-longer sentence.