Naturally, one buys armor for its defensive capabilities, not for their offensive attributes, never mind that most armors don’t have offensive attributes at all. Even when armor does come with something extra, you might not buy it, because that’s not what armor is for. This week, I am asking you to challenge that notion with this trio of magical armors that offer offensive solutions to doing what armor is supposed to do: keep you from getting hurt.
GARBAGE MAIL PRICE 3,200 gp
Slot armor; CL 9th; Weight 30 lbs.
Aura moderate varied
This unusual suit of armor is made from the cobbled together parts of various other metal items, salvaged from a scrap heap and enchanted to hold tightly together, and, curiously, to retain and even enhance the reeking foul smell of refuse. No two of these suits look quite the same, though all tend to look somewhat ridiculous, with odd angles and recognizable pieces of trash forming most of the protective value.
These unconventional suits of armor function as a suit of +1 scale mail, but additionally issue forth a constant reeking stench, which is difficult to ignore and can cause those who breathe it in to become sick. Any character within 30 feet of the armor, other than the wearer, must succeed on a Fortitude save (DC 14) or be sickened. Characters suffer a cumulative -1 penalty to this saving throw for each round they are exposed to the armor’s stench. A character which spends at least 5 minutes within the stench’s area of effect is immune to the stench for 24 hours. The horrible reeking stench created by this armor is supernatural in origin and can be suppressed or resumed as a swift action.
None of a garbage mail’s unique abilities count as an enhancement bonus equivalent, and it is treated as a +1-equivalent armor for the purposes of the cost of further improving its magical abilities.
Craft Magic Arms and Armor, stinking cloud
GONG SHIELD PRICE 4,170 gp
Slot shield; CL 9th; Weight 15 lbs.
Aura moderate varied
This thick disk of brass has been strengthened with magic to make it stronger than even tempered steel, and the front is carved with arcane script and musical notes. When struck, the shield makes a loud crashing sound and causes the air to quiver and vibrate with sonic energy.
In addition to functioning as a +1 heavy steel shield, the gong shield can be struck as a standard action to produce a localized deafening crash that deals sonic damage equal to the weapon’s damage dice x the wielder’s Strength modifier to all characters within a 10-foot radius (except the wielder of the gong shield). Characters who suffer sonic damage in this way must additionally succeed on a Fortitude save (DC 13) or be deafened for 1d4 rounds. This ability can be used once per day. A character with at least 5 ranks in Perform (percussion instruments) can use this ability an additional number of times each day equal to the shield’s enhancement bonus.
None of a gong shield’s unique abilities count as an enhancement bonus equivalent, and it is treated as a +1-equivalent shield for the purposes of the cost of further improving its magical abilities.
Craft Magic Arms and Armor, sound burst
JESTER’S SUIT PRICE 8,155 gp
Slot armors; CL 15th; Weight 10 lbs.
Aura strong illusion
Designed by a mage who was fascinated with the robe of scintillating colors, these suits of armor were created for the court jesters of a mad king who insisted he have entertainment while on the battlefield. The armor itself is a twist of bright and vibrant yellows, reds, blues, and violets.
This suit of +1 padded armor can be activated with a command word to start to swim with colors and project them outward in a dazzling light show, which can fascinate onlookers. When activated, the armor unleashes a 10-foot-radius spread of color centered on the wielder, which causes those within the area to succeed on a Will save (DC 22) or be fascinated for 1d4 rounds. Creatures who succeed on their saving throw are dazzled, instead. This ability can be used a number of times each day equal to the wearer’s Charisma modifier (minimum 1). A jester’s suit must be worn 24 before it has any effect.
None of a jester’s suit unique abilities count as an enhancement bonus equivalent, and it is treated as a +1-equivalent armor for the purposes of the cost of further improving its magical abilities.
Craft Magic Arms and Armor, rainbow pattern